Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
