i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
