Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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