On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
