Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
