Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
