ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
