how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
