if you like me you must not know who I am
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
