I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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