I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
