Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
