what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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