I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Help. Why am I so naked?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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