White coat. Heels.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Randomize
