My first STD was from a foam party
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
