I hope mine doesn't look like that
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Someone signed my nipple.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
