so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
