it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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