genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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