She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
