I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
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i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
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He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I know her cup size but not her name....
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