I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
