just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize