question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
