who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
