if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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