Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
