So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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