Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Why did I cab home last night?

  (1-310): View more from California

  Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.

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  (310): Why did I cab home last night? (1-310): Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker. http://tfl.nu/2rna
  Replies (1) Good night (1067) Bad night (826)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.

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  (845): I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News. http://tfl.nu/qk7t
  Replies (86) Good night (4836) Bad night (1149)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"

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  (513): I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair" http://tfl.nu/ia2j
  Replies (21) Good night (771) Bad night (6287)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed

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  (604): his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed http://tfl.nu/zsvf
  Replies (20) Good night (1182) Bad night (4759)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just found puke in my bra..

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  (304): I just found puke in my bra.. http://tfl.nu/wu5c
  Replies (17) Good night (978) Bad night (5811)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?

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  (740): So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes? http://tfl.nu/wyhr
  Replies (11) Good night (1702) Bad night (4168)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again

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  (226): Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again http://tfl.nu/v9b0
  Replies (5) Good night (1945) Bad night (3319)
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  (714): View more from California

  IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX

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  (714): IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX http://tfl.nu/wmyf
  Replies (12) Good night (2398) Bad night (1298)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.

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  (774): Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist. http://tfl.nu/bzfc
  Replies (9) Good night (3978) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this

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  (913): Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this http://tfl.nu/urxm
  Replies (11) Good night (915) Bad night (1524)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning

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  (314): I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning http://tfl.nu/jesw
  Replies (1) Good night (875) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  My bed is full of blood and feathers

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  (931): My bed is full of blood and feathers http://tfl.nu/0j2w
  Replies (10) Good night (636) Bad night (1465)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.

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  (541): I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out. http://tfl.nu/0h9b
  Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.

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  (773): He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing. http://tfl.nu/5ouo
  Replies (12) Good night (370) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.

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  (870): You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it. http://tfl.nu/7wns
  Replies (4) Good night (826) Bad night (325)

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