Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
