Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
