So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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