she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
