and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
