we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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