Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
