She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
