And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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