just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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