I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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