Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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