porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
