i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
