I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
