would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize