Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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