I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
