Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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