tell your sister to shave her snatch
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
