is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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