I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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