Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
