You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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