all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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