I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
