it wasn't lemon gatorade
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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