Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
